I just downloaded last Sunday's Chinese worship video clip from my church's website. Marvelous. :)

Woah. The worship is great. I went to one of the chinese services before. I still remember that i went with Florence. That day we had to meet in Expo earlier to rehearse our special item for Juan's wedding. As e rest have yet to reach, hence the two of us went in to enjoy the worship. It was great. I just cant describe the feeling.. . both of us could feel the presence of God so strongly. And whenever i see the aunties and uncles singing and dancing with so much great freedom and joy, i feel so happy. Most of them are already in their 50s and 60s, and yet they still have such great enthusiasm and strength to dance and sing praises to God. Sometimes i just feel so ashamed. Initially i darent worship God fully. In a sense, i had some restrictions to dance or sing aloud. Afraid of people's perspective of me. But after seeing how these ah gong & ah ma worship with freedom, I am released from the fear. No longer do i have to mind how people look at me, what's more impt is how God thinks of me. :)

I think this simple incident reflects much on our lives too. Many times, we work so hard just to gain approval and appreciation from others. From academic grades to outer appearances, it is inevitable that many people r striving for excellence in everything they do. My friends, pls dont get me wrong. Of course, striving for the best is good! There's nothing wrong! But the thing is, what is the motivator behind it? Is it to hide the feelings of insecurity and loneliness deep in our hearts? Or is it to attract people to us so that we will feel worthy? Is our security based on the approval of others? I struggled with this before. From secondary 1 to poly year 2, grades were my life. They determined my happiness and sadness. I wanted to feel perfect and high above. It was when God spoke to me one day that There's no need to be perfect at all times. Jesus didn't die perfectly either. These words still remained so vividly on my mind. As i reflect, it is true that grades sld not be my priority. I realised that many times, even if i had attained something good, the emptiness is still present. Grades cant satisfy what i really need. The only thing i need is the love of God. And this love does not contain any shame, blame or expectations. Instead, it is full of acceptance, kindness and gentleness.

Through these two years, i've been learning. To let go and let God control. Because I know that my God loves me and will be with me. Even before i confess my needs and fears to Him, He already knows them. He knows what is good for me and will bless me with it. My friends, is your internal security based on the expectations of this world? Beauty, fame, popularity, wealth etc? Do they really satisfy the need that you want? Why not return back to the cross and allow the God of love to fill you with His assurance and peace? rmb, it requires no expectations or how good u r. Just pure desire. :)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30

http://www.fcbc.org.sg/faith_sermons.asp

I started my 3 months admin job today. hmm, overall im pretty satisfied with the job. It's flexible. However, i've a problem. And that is, I cant adapt to the environment. It's tooo QUIET.

All my previous job experiences either require me to talk a lot (teaching) or at the very least, there're people in the working place whom i can crap with. [Yep, as u can see from my profile, i love crapping besides food and run.] However, in this new company, there r only five people. Out of these five, three are bosses. And they travel a lot. I think i hardly get to see them lars. In some way, it's good. hehe. Ya, so anyway, most of the time, the entire office is very quiet. Cos only me and the other accountant. She seems very occupied in her work and cant reallie hv e` chance to crap lei. And also, she looks pretty serious. For lunch, i've to eat alone so tt at least there is another soul picking up calls in the company when necessary.

Oh man, i hate this. There r 2 reasons. First, well who prefers to be a lonely soul? I am sure everyone hopes to have a companion for at least, lunch time rite? Imagine, nobody to crap with u while eating. Nobody to appreciate the good food together with u.. arrgh. And the second reason, which is the most crucial of all, eating alone is a big challenge for me. Cos there will be nobody to control my binging. shit. i guess food will start piling up on my table.

Glad to say that above all these, i still choose to R E J O I C E. Cos at least i've sth to do for these 3 months. Shall spend these months considering where to go (well, if my sno application fails) after this admin job. Will be going down to Suntec City this thu for a career talk on being a special needs teacher. hopefully God wil enlighten me. :)

Anyway, God is good. :) Last night as i was preparing my heart for my new job, God presented me a verse as i begin this new journey of my life.

"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord." Colossians 3:22

We should always remember that ultimately, the real BOSS behind every profession is God himself. In doing everything, put our best effort in it. Neither to curry favour or to harbour selfish ambitions, but rather to serve and please the ultimate BOSS with sincerity . :) As children of God, continue to let our light shine before men, so that they will confess, "Truely the living God is with us!" :)

It is amazing to witness how God has brought healing, restoration and hope to His people through the mouths of His intercessors. I had a great encounter today. :)

One of my goals for this year is to engage in spiritual warfare - to heal the sick. God is faithful. In the entire month of Feb, i was given the priviledge to serve him in the area of consolidation duty. And this includes praying for those who respond to the altar call.

Initially, there were not much confidence or faith. Fear, inadequate and anxiety were what went through my mind as i left my seat to proceed to the front. Prayer is the wisest tool for me. I prayed, "God, let not mine but ur words to be spoken out from my lips."

True enough, the Spirit of God fell upon His people. The Spirit released words of wisdom and knowledge to His people. Love, hope and peace were proclaimed in His awesome name. I am reminded of His promise to me, "...to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Isaiah 61:1

God never fail to touch and heal the hearts of every soul that has come before Him, drained and weary. Even I, as His messenger, have received healing and restoration by even praying for others. God, u're just awesome. :)

After today's intercession, i am set free from the initial fear that i had. No longer will i fear to intercede because God will anoint my lips with His very own words. Amen.

"What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight;
What is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs."
Matt 10:27

I've finally decided to give my blog a new coat.

A new beginning. A new hope. :)

Went for the SNO inteview yest. Sad to say, i screwed it up completely. Is it good or bad? I dont noe. But somehow i know God will intervene and bless me with a better plan. One that will prosper me and not harm me. :) Indeed i was upset abt my performance and how the ladies turned me upside down with their unexpected questions. but somehow the entire interview session has reaffirmed me one fact. My passion is still teaching. :)

Went for my usual morning run today. no no, im not crazy today. only completed 15 rounds. hehe. But God did show up and speak a lot to me about the most crucial issue of my life - fleeing from temptations. Well, i reallie need it. Be it food or, i am always the victim.

Have been doing quiet time with Felili these days. :) To Felili: Hey dear, u dont know how much God also spoke to me man! And these quiet time moments reallie draw our relationship even closer! hehe. Cant wait to meet up with u after your exams! :)

Woohoo. CNY is finally here. Simply love this occasion. Feasting, dressing up, collecting ang pows, slacking bla bla bla. Simply good life man. haha.

Hmm.. this yr's is quite different from the past few yrs. This yr i got a chance to visit Uncle Tham and family. hee hee. so happy to see the kids, Rachael and Sarah. They simply brightened up my day! Had a great time catching up with Auntie & Uncle Tham. Seeing the harmony, peace and love in their homes, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse, "Unless the Lord builds the house, the workers labour in vain." Amen to that. Indeed if God is the head of the entire household, peace, love, harmony n unity will not be absent.

The many feasting in this new yr season has made my body go hay-wire. I'd gone thru much difficulty to control my appetite and now it's back again!! arrgh. certainly a nightmare for me. The never-ending binging has returned again. shit. and now both my ears ache due to "heatiness". all thanks to the ba-gua and ferroros. somehow it's good. at least it helps me to stop binging.

Anyway, i've finally found job! Praise God! 3 months temp at chin swee road. and this fri im going down to MOE for my first round of interview for SNO position. *nervous* I am thankful for this opportunity. Nevertheless, im more than willing to surrender this unto God's hands. No matter whether i am selected or not, I will choose to praise and thank Him. =)

Yes. I have graduated now. haha. No more project discussions, assignments, test, exams and hectic deadlines to meet for now! Hooray! Had a great time celebrating my graduation with my Divas in People's Association chalet during the last weekend!

Alrite, first day was fri (9th Feb). Peiling & i went down to RTRC to submit out very last assignment. Afterwich, we headed to Maxwell Market to have our breakfast. we're reallie gluttons man, ordered a table full of food but still managed to finish all. haha. After a full breakfast, we decided to walk around to digest our food so tt we can continue our lunch later at Amoy St Hawker. ^_^ So we headed to Marina Square and shop. After shopping, we headed back to Tanjong Pagar area again for our bowl of famous Lor Mee. hehe. Opened by ah eng's fren's dad wor. ahaha. *delicious* So finally we r ready to head to shiping's hse. had loads of fun crapping and 'laming' on the way there lor.. Peiling was so excited about the "punishment" tt her face flushed! haha

Alrighty, so when we reached shiping's hse, she drove us to the chalet. Shiping, Wanqin and i went to White Sands to buy some groceries and cake for Karen. Peiling was responsible to distract her away. haha. Night time was bbq followed by karen's bday celebration. she was shocked! we sang a song for her while she was chasing off the cat. haha. The fun never ceased after dinner. We started our pyjamas party, with loads of photo-takings, dance and "ku-ku"poses. shall not post these photos here if not shiping will definitely kill me. haha. After midnight was an exciting round of "ah-gua" hunting. haha. we drove round n round the same carpark to see the pretty ladies. woah. they're even prettier and slimer den real women. dont play play.

Day 2 was quite a sad one. Cos peiling has left. Marian, Reei, JY, Karen n i headed to Escape Theme Park. i think the scariest is the haunted house lor. haha. damn it. i was freaked out, out of nothing lor. haha. karen was also freaked out, by me in fact. haha. When we returned from Escape, we were so surprised and happy to see qianyi!!! all of them actually ganged up and fooled us tt she has returned home lor. haha. then our "tearing" session began. SHiping and i hugged and cried hard. I am reallie gonna miss her. i think she's gonna miss the many "Jing Han Png" emails sent by me. haha. Thinking back, we've known each other for a full 3 years. From strangers to acquitances to buddies, hmm what can i say? :) They're great. I reallie thank God for placing them in my life. ^_^ While i teared, i was reminded of the many happy moments we once shared.

* Birthday celebrations
* Crazy dances during kbox
* Chalet
* Zhong ji mi ma
* Gossiping sessions
* Feasting time
* Meeting at Golden Wall Centre (freaking out at the sitting positions)
............................................and many more.............................

I reallie enjoyed myself in these 3 years of poly life. life has never been the same when im with these "ding-dong" girls. haha. Be it studies or outings, we're always together. Just like a piece of nian gao. always stick together but never gets tired. hehe. More outings please!!!

Word Encounter

Last nite, i stayed overnight at TC right after Sanctification. haha. It is my first tie staying overnight at a place without bringing any extra clothings or toothbrush bla bla bla. disgusting right? haha but i dont care. Just feel so blessed to be in the house of God. ^_^

Waited all e way till 2am for word encounter at chapel. Great. Juan was studying. Qinpei was helping her with the stack of notes concerning piagiarism. and the lonely me can do nothing but to wait for the sky to drop. Finally 2am has come and the 3 of us headed to the chapel for word encounter.

First 5 minutes - I was very interested by the sound effects and the "sound" of Jesus through the audio tape of the entire New Testament. 100% concentration on the bible.

Next 5 minutes - i started lying down on the big cushions provided. Eyes were half closed. 50% concentration on the bible.

After 3 minutes - completely knocked out. Zzzzz

I woke up after an hour. haha. was awakened by Qinpei as the verse "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." was read out.

Feel very guilty actually cos i was meant to dwell in God's words and process it through. But i ended up sleeping there.

The next day was Pastor William's congre at Daniel Hall. I was deeply touched by his words. This is what he said. "The size of your problem is the size of your VICTORY" Indeed, if the God of all creations, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, whom cannot be bounded by death, is with us, why should we fear?

Yesterday marks the last day of my poly life. Sucks. Didnt know that it can stir up such great pain and tears in us. Yes, we cried. The 5 of us crying in the bedroom of qianyi's. haha. Frankly speaking, i enjoyed the time when we just confessed our feelings and emotions openly to each other. We even hugged. *Shiping is sooo huggable. hee. I really thank God for placing these special four angels in my heart. We've reallie gone through so much together as one. Now i know who is the emo in our clique. haha. Anyway, as usual the 5 of us went to hunt for more food after our crying session. Ice cream! DeliFrance!!! haha. and not forgetting, this fashion.

Yesterday was also the last day of my church's Sanctification Week. I went for all 3 nights and it was reallie great. The presence of God dwelled so strongly throughout the 3 nights. This time round, i tried my best to listen to every word that is spoken without dozing off. ^_^ Good achievement compared to last year.

I was deeply touched by the Lord on the 2nd night, which was on thursday. God led me back to my past hurt. I felt a prompting to respond to the altar call but hesitated. I said to Him, "God, i thought it's already over?" But God in His gentleness just encouraged me to take a step forward. I doubted but chose to go as He is already revealing His words to me. As i went forward to pray for myself, God began His healing. Once again, i was led back to the scenes which i hate to see. In a moment, Pastor Julie represented herself as our mother and asked for our forgiveness. I broke down totally. I cant believe what i heard. Once again, the past hurts and pain came back so vividly again. I was really glad tt qinpei was with me throughout. She hugged me tight and prayed for me. Soon, forgiveness was released and my heart was set free again.

In total, i had 3 real encounters with God with regards to this issue. These 3 encounters has made me learnt so much of the character of God. One, he's ever so gentle. He doesnt push or force. He's ready when you are ready. Second, he never gives up. During Ps william's congre today, God spoke to me again. As i recalled back on the work He has done on thu, he released two chinese words to me. Che (4) di(3). His very desire is to see His chn walkin a victorious life with him, blameless and faultless. For this to be possible is to go deep into our innermost being and healed us completely of our past hurts. Third, he is full of compassion and love. In His justice, He cant dismiss your sins. In His love, He cant dismiss you. is enough to prove it all.

Yesterday marks the last day of my poly life. Sucks. Didnt know that it can stir up such great pain and tears in us. Yes, we cried. The 5 of us crying in the bedroom of qianyi's. haha. Frankly speaking, i enjoyed the time when we just confessed our feelings and emotions openly to each other. We even hugged. *Shiping is sooo huggable. hee. I really thank God for placing these special four angels in my heart. We've reallie gone through so much together as one. Now i know who is the emo in our clique. haha. Anyway, as usual the 5 of us went to hunt for more food after our crying session. Ice cream! DeliFrance!!! haha. and not forgetting, this fashion.

Yesterday was also the last day of my church's Sanctification Week. I went for all 3 nights and it was reallie great. The presence of God dwelled so strongly throughout the 3 nights. This time round, i tried my best to listen to every word that is spoken without dozing off. ^_^ Good achievement compared to last year.

I was deeply touched by the Lord on the 2nd night, which was on thursday. God led me back to my past hurt. I felt a prompting to respond to the altar call but hesitated. I said to Him, "God, i thought it's already over?" But God in His gentleness just encouraged me to take a step forward. I doubted but chose to go as He is already revealing His words to me. As i went forward to pray for myself, God began His healing. Once again, i was led back to the scenes which i hate to see. In a moment, Pastor Julie represented herself as our mother and asked for our forgiveness. I broke down totally. I cant believe what i heard. Once again, the past hurts and pain came back so vividly again. I was really glad tt qinpei was with me throughout. She hugged me tight and prayed for me. Soon, forgiveness was released and my heart was set free again.

In total, i had 3 real encounters with God with regards to this issue. These 3 encounters has made me learnt so much of the character of God. One, he's ever so gentle. He doesnt push or force. He's ready when you are ready. Second, he never gives up. During Ps william's congre today, God spoke to me again. As i recalled back on the work He has done on thu, he released two chinese words to me. Che (4) di(3). His very desire is to see His chn walkin a victorious life with him, blameless and faultless. For this to be possible is to go deep into our innermost being and healed us completely Che (4) di(3) of our past hurts. Third, he is full of compassion and love. In His justice, He cant dismiss your sins. In His love, He cant dismiss you. is enough to prove it all.