I just downloaded last Sunday's Chinese worship video clip from my church's website. Marvelous. :)

Woah. The worship is great. I went to one of the chinese services before. I still remember that i went with Florence. That day we had to meet in Expo earlier to rehearse our special item for Juan's wedding. As e rest have yet to reach, hence the two of us went in to enjoy the worship. It was great. I just cant describe the feeling.. . both of us could feel the presence of God so strongly. And whenever i see the aunties and uncles singing and dancing with so much great freedom and joy, i feel so happy. Most of them are already in their 50s and 60s, and yet they still have such great enthusiasm and strength to dance and sing praises to God. Sometimes i just feel so ashamed. Initially i darent worship God fully. In a sense, i had some restrictions to dance or sing aloud. Afraid of people's perspective of me. But after seeing how these ah gong & ah ma worship with freedom, I am released from the fear. No longer do i have to mind how people look at me, what's more impt is how God thinks of me. :)

I think this simple incident reflects much on our lives too. Many times, we work so hard just to gain approval and appreciation from others. From academic grades to outer appearances, it is inevitable that many people r striving for excellence in everything they do. My friends, pls dont get me wrong. Of course, striving for the best is good! There's nothing wrong! But the thing is, what is the motivator behind it? Is it to hide the feelings of insecurity and loneliness deep in our hearts? Or is it to attract people to us so that we will feel worthy? Is our security based on the approval of others? I struggled with this before. From secondary 1 to poly year 2, grades were my life. They determined my happiness and sadness. I wanted to feel perfect and high above. It was when God spoke to me one day that There's no need to be perfect at all times. Jesus didn't die perfectly either. These words still remained so vividly on my mind. As i reflect, it is true that grades sld not be my priority. I realised that many times, even if i had attained something good, the emptiness is still present. Grades cant satisfy what i really need. The only thing i need is the love of God. And this love does not contain any shame, blame or expectations. Instead, it is full of acceptance, kindness and gentleness.

Through these two years, i've been learning. To let go and let God control. Because I know that my God loves me and will be with me. Even before i confess my needs and fears to Him, He already knows them. He knows what is good for me and will bless me with it. My friends, is your internal security based on the expectations of this world? Beauty, fame, popularity, wealth etc? Do they really satisfy the need that you want? Why not return back to the cross and allow the God of love to fill you with His assurance and peace? rmb, it requires no expectations or how good u r. Just pure desire. :)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:28-30

http://www.fcbc.org.sg/faith_sermons.asp